Merriam-Webster dictionary defines promise as “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified.” Everyone makes promises to themselves and others, but to keep up with the promises is a big deal in itself. How many of us keep our promises? The answer is “very few.”
Promising someone of something and later not doing that thing projects us as an irresponsible and careless person. People think that they are not your priority and they start to distance themselves away from you. You may not even notice these small changes, but over time; every little thing compiles and makes a big issue.
Relationships are built on trust and not keeping your promises is like breaking the trust. When the foundation is not strong, then there will not be sound understanding in mutual feelings.
Moreover, when you make a promise to yourself, and you can’t fulfill that, you start doubting yourself which in turn lowers your self-esteem and confidence.
Before making any further promises, introspect and talk to yourself.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What is the motivation behind this promise?
Make yourself clear to yourself. Remember, we tell ourselves the greatest lies. Ask why are you making this promise? Who is getting benefited? You or some other person you love. Is this promise for self-development? How badly you want to keep your promise. Do not manipulate yourself. Bare yourself to the questions and sincerely think about it.
Am I realistic?
Busy schedules, flying weeks and months, everything goes so fast. Consider your priorities and plan according to that. Don’t strain on yourself. Start with the small and aim for the big. Even the slightest of positive changes counts and boost up your determination. You need not to promise everything at once.
Is it crucial for me to keep this promise?
Be honest to everyone and most importantly yourself. You don’t have to keep promises just because your boss is happy about it or your neighbor is cool with it. Because nothing comes from the shallow heart, it should come from your heart. If it is not important to you, you can say no. People will like you for your honesty, and you don’t have to worry about it.
How do I handle when I break my promise?
When something unexpected happens, do let other people know beforehand as you don’t know, you can be playing with their feelings. If you promised your loved one to take out them for the movie and you can’t take them because of some emergency board meeting in your office. Tell them rather than keep them waiting. It will be more appreciable and sincere.